There's nothing that makes me appreciate my kids like other kids. In addition to my 4th graders (holy god they're 4th graders already!!) this year I also have a few 5th graders. I've been with my kids for 2 full years now. They know all of my quirks and I know all of theirs. I know that Dennis the Menace occasionally emits weird noises during homework time. I know that The Hugger will hang all over me until I tell her that her friends must miss her. I know that The Biter (oh yes he's back again) sometimes has rough weeks where he does better helping with the little kids classes. The kids know that I can't stand having someone get in my line of sight when I'm reading. They know that I will ask them to line up before we leave a room so I don't lose anyone. They know that when I promise a prize at the end of the week I will pull through for them. It's taken the better part of two years for all of us to learn to trust each other. When my kids came back this year they came back with an extra 10 inches and some new sassy comebacks but they didn't lose that trust.
These 5th graders though...oh boy. I think they WANT to be a good class. I just think that they want to talk, run, scream, and hit a lot more. Homework "Hour" (I've been shortening it as much as I can because being trapped in a room with them gives me nightmares of being trapped in the hyena cage at the zoo) has become my steady monologue of:
"stop talking-find a seat-where are you sitting-is that really a good place for you to be-chairs on the ground please-hands to yourself-do you have math today- where's the hundreds place-I said chairs on the ground please- how on earth did you get that pencil in the ceiling like that-sorry now you don't have a pencil-no-come on buddy-I said find a seat-where's the thousands place- no it didn't move- hint it's next to the hundreds place- sit down please- no in a chair not on the floor- Hop on Pop is too easy for you- 5 minute warning- oh fuck it just go outside please- I said OUT!.
So Homework Hour has been more of Homework As Long As Nicole Can Stand It. The best part of it is that when the 5th graders are insane my 4th graders just stare at them with this look of horror on their faces. Then one of them usually says something like "uhmm Nicole doesn't really like it when you try to climb on the shelves." Or my favorite from today "Y'know if you'd just stop talking and finish your homework I bet you'd actually pass the 5th grade." Ouch...
I don't really have a solution for these kids so far. My current plan includes lots of class bonding and leadership activities. These 5th graders are at the point where they think they're too cool for everything. So far they've informed me that they're too cool for Harry Potter, Lemony Snickett, and every verbal or non-verbal way I have of getting their attention. No more 1, 2, 3 eyes on me/1, 2 eyes on you. No more slugs up for silence. I'm at a loss. All they like is Twilight and dodgeball. I refuse to do anything Twilight related because I'm a 23 year old woman and I am ashamed to carry that damn book around long enough to plan anything with it. Also dodgeball is the bane of my existence. So I suppose I have some soul searching to do.
I don't remember thinking I was cool in 5th grade. Maybe I have just always known that cool wouldn't be my thing. Maybe I saw into my future of marching band and theater pit early on. All I know is if someone had offered to do a whole unit on Harry Potter I would not have mocked.
*Sidenote: I have GOT to stop referring to my kids as MY kids. I was asked several times this summer how many kids I have and I usually get a really shocked look when I say twenty-nine. Not a mom guys. Just an exhausted educator.
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