The Perfect Storm

#1. For any other occupation a 3 day workweek is heaven. For mine it's a curse. The teachers NEVER give homework for a 3 day week. So my required homework hour consists of me making up busywork, chasing The Biter around the room, and checking the clock every 2 minutes.

#2. Today, there just happened to be a giant storm. I'm talking thunder, lightning, and power outage. The works.

#3. Today was also muffin day for snack. The muffins that they give us are the messiest most crumbly muffins I've ever seen. They're probably weeks old and stuffed with preservatives so we don't die from eating them.

Those three things are all you need for a hellish day. The kids were hyped up because of the rain. I had no less that ten kids tell me that there was an emergency weather broadcast on the television this weekend. Exciting stuff. We got to be outside for about an hour today which meant an hour of me chasing children away from Lake Del Mar, sorry, I mean the playground.

Around 3 pm the first thunder sounded and my kids flipped out. I always like how their initial response when scared is to run in circles and scream. I have no idea how humans have lasted this long if that's our main fallback for danger. I've given up on trying to round them up when they get all psycho. Now I just open the door to the classroom and they eventually sprint in at full speed.

Once inside the room I had them do our usual Community Circle (we sit in a circle and I try to think up ridiculous questions for discussion to calm them down). My thoughts during CC were as follows:
"Oh shit, we have no homework. We're going to be in here all afternoon. 3 hours with nothing to do. This is going to be one of those situations from some terrible kids movie from the mid 90's where the parents come home and the babysitter is tied to a chair and the kids are chasing the family poodle with a nerf gun. "
So I, being quite quick on my feet by now, came up with a lesson on lightning followed by an extended "Lightning Viewing" while we ate our incredibly messy and not nutritious snack. Of course the next hour was spent cleaning crumbs off of the floor because, as I have mentioned, we don't have a functioning vacuum. FML.

Then the power went out which caused more running in circles and screaming. So I lit our spiffy new power outage lantern and we all laid on the floor and drew pictures by lamplight. It was pretty adorable actually.

Sidenote: The only reason we have a power outage lantern is that a few months ago we lost power when it was pitch black outside and all we had in our emergency kits was 6 bandaids and a powerbar. Surprisingly not helpful. That night ended with me running through the rain with twenty terrified children attached to my legs trying to find a room with a flashlight. So yes, I demanded a lantern in my room.

Wouldn't want anyone to miss out on some of the sweet power outage drawings I received today!




Kevin's flower art is some of my favorite.



No idea what this monster is but it is clearly attacking some sort of castle.



Clouds? Smoke from the sun? Who knows.



This shark is awesome. No other comment.

Quick Rant

Anyone remember hama beads? Now, I don't remember calling them that when I was a kid (I'm pretty sure I referred to them as "those boring bead iron projects") but who could forget those tiny plastic beads that you put on the plastic grid and then take to your mom so she could iron them together for you? I didn't like them as a kid but let me just say that they are way way worse as an adult. First off, they take hours. Then, one tiny bump of the table and they're completely destroyed. The beads go everywhere, most of them never to be found again, and the kid is left nearly in tears. Even if the kid finishes it they still have to get it ironed. For my kids that involves a terrifying walk across our classroom to the iron. They walk super slowly and they never take their eyes off of their project. Unfortunately that means that they're never watching where they're going so usually they walk into chairs or desks or more often, a 5th grader. The tiny percentage of kids that make it through the gauntlet unscathed are rewarded with me as their iron-lady. Tough luck for them. I'm awful at ironing those damn beads together. My success rate is somewhere around 40%. Not great. Last week my little Dennis the Menace kid worked a solid hour making his hama bead star. He bravely made the classroom walk and what did I do? Destroyed his afternoons work. Those are the days I feel like I'm not making a positive difference in the world.

See, when I was a kid it never got to any of that. I usually gave up long before that point ever came. I would always start out trying to make a star or a heart. I had grand visions of starting a pattern in the center and following it all the way out. Usually I would make it about 3 layers before realizing that it wasn't going to work out layout-wise and I would jump ship. This left a bead filled table for my mom to clean up. Although, now I realize that she had it easy. At least she never had to iron any of them.

So last week, after I destroyed Dennis the Menace's artwork, I spent an hour rebuilding with him. When we finished I told him that it was the first hama bead project that I had ever finished. His response? "Wow, I have like, hundreds of these at home!" Awesome, kid. Really awesome.